My Friend...

I have a friend who inspires me. She is tender-hearted, loving, kind, generous. She is a keeper of her home. The softness and love of Christ shows through her. She inspires me to be more than I am. We all need a friend like that.


Peace Out,
~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Gestational Diabetes

A few random thoughts as my mind spins...

* They say I have gestational diabetes. I've been checking my blood sugar for 24 hours now and haven't had a high reading once. And I'm still sneaking M&M's here and there.

* I have run out of places to put all of the gifts I received at my shower Sunday. I took over an hour to open them all. It's making my crazy.

* My son doesn't have a crib.

* I need to make some soap. I've been using store bought for too long PLUS I promised Jen some nearly a year ago. Sorry, Jen, I suck. I've not forgotten, I just suck.

* We have a 7 passenger vehicle and a 7 member family. In about 5-6 weeks, we will be an 8 member family with a 7 passenger vehicle. Anyone have a fourth row seat for a 2003 Ford Econoline van complete with bolts and seat belts just laying around somewhere collecting dust? I could really use it!

Beginning to get anxious and high strung,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Randomness

Late one night in Washington, D.C., a mugger jumped a well-dressed man and held a gun to his ribs. "Give me your money!" he demanded. The man stiffened, but said indignantly, "You can't do this to me — I'm a U. S. Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "give me my money!"

* * *

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Ben Franklin

* * *

Please remember that the United States is NOT a democracy!!

“Democracy is the most vile form of government... democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention: have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property: and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their deaths.” - James Madison

* * *

At the close of the Constitutional Convention in 1787 Benjamin Franklin was asked, “Well, Doctor, what have we got—a Republic or a Monarchy?” He replied, “A Republic, if you can keep it.”

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Mouse in the House

Actually ... two ... Here is a song about their demise today. You know the tune so sing along!

Two field mice.
Two field mice.
See how they run!
See how they run!
One of them became a meal for the cat.
The other one had its neck snapped in half.
Two field mice.
Two field mice.

Those two years I spent studying as a music major sure comes in handy sometimes...

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

25 Things

I was tagged at Facebook a little whiles back and thought you all might find this interesting as well...

1. My husband and my children are the absolute best things that have ever happened to me!
2. Once you betray my trust, you will never completely have it again.
3. I raise chickens for eggs and meat. Yes, I kill my own birds. No, I don't drink their blood.
4. My father was the greatest influence in my life. I miss him.
5. "The Change" isn't fun.
6. There are things I won't post since CHILDREN may read this.
7. I had an ex-boyfriend who stalked me even after I got married.
8. I hide my feelings with laughter.
9. I've actually had people think I was stupid because I am blonde.
10. I miss homeschooling my children.
11. I like animals more than I like most people.
12. My brain is a tape recorder. I can remember most conversations nearly ver batem.
13. I think a lot of deep thoughts, but mostly share the shallow ones.
14. I get angry with myself when I cry in front of people.
15. I'm afraid sometimes.
16. I am most comfortable in a pair of boots and a hat.
17. I pick up accents within minutes and am totally unaware when I start speaking with one.
18. I talk the most when I'm nervous or uncomfortable.
19. I get listless in areas where buildings are close together.
20. I sometimes have disturbing dreams that make me wake up at night screaming.
21. If I were the person on the outside that I really am on the inside, people would completely freak out.
22. I truly believe in aliens.
23. I'm a writer. A keeper of thoughts.
24. I'm claustophobic in crowds and small rooms.
25. I wish I knew how to ride a bull.

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

A Lesson on Poetry

The Haiku
A Japanese poem composed of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five morae, usually containing a season word.

Sleep evades my night.
Morning comes without the rest.
Tired eyes I have.

Acrostic
Poetry that certain letters, usually the first in each line form a word or message when read in a sequence.

With

Rhyme
A rhyming poem has the repetition of the same or similar sounds of two or more words, often at the end of the line.

I need my rest.
None I find.
So I write poetry,
Online.
My body's weary.
Night is long.
I could use
A loaded bong.

Iambic pentameter
One short syllable followed by one long one five sets in a row. Example: la-LAH la-LAH la-LAH la-LAH la-LAH

Oh sleep why won't you come to me?
I've cleaned the house.
I've washed the clothes.
I'll have to get the kids to school.
I'm about to go insane.

Name
Poetry that tells about the word. It uses the letters of the word for the first letter of each line.

Spent
Lost
Elusive
Engaging
Peaceful

Burlesque
Poetry that treats a serious subject as humor.

The weary woman awake all night,

completes her chores while the children sleep.

Then she writes her verse online,

because, well, who knows why?

She needs no sleep for days on end,

her thoughts are fuzzy and unclear.

Who needs to be alert to drive,

when the children can scream at an oncoming car?

Zombie zombie through the day,

then like a hamster in a wheel at night.

REM and Delta, STAY AWAY!!!

this woman would like to go insane!!!

Cinquain
Poetry with five lines. Line 1 has one word (the title). Line 2 has two words that describe the title. Line 3 has three words that tell the action. Line 4 has four words that express the feeling, and line 5 has one word which recalls the title.

Insomnia.

Can't sleep.

Awake all night.

Exhausted, frustrated, weepy, annoyed.

Insomnia.

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Things I Don't Understand...

* Saving the life of a death row inmate after a suicide attempt.

* Coloring a picture on plastic...and then putting it in the oven to shrink.

* Ordering a Supersized Big Mac value meal with a Diet Coke.

* Drinking coffee all day and then using sleep aids at night.

* Calling a man handing a woman cash prostitution, but a man buying a woman drinks a date.

* How two gay men in a committed relationship destroys MY marriage.

* How Obama thinks he can raise electric bills by 68% and NOT get sh*t.

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

I posted this as a comment at Batman's Blog. I just felt the urge to post it here. Mind you, I don't wish ill-will on anyone. I just really think that this is in the works. Deep down, we all know that JFK and MLK were martyred by their own...

As consirpacy theories do, mine has evolved. I still believe that Obama has been set up to be a martyr. I doubt he'll make it through his first term. He will have a great legacy due to his assassination. He won't have had time to do much of anything, so he'll forever be our first black president. That will be enough.

They all knew who Biden was when they pushed him on Obama. Biden is dispensable. Even the pie-in-the-sky obtuse Obama knows that one. Biden will come down ill and suddenly die.

Then the ultra liberal, unelectable Pelosi becomes the first woman president. She'll choose Reid as her VP because she won't share the spotlight with Clinton PLUS she knows Clinton would have her knocked off within 3 months anyway.

I even have it figured out how they're going to do it. Biden would have to die before being sworn in or having time to pick a new VP of his own. But I think "THEY" have already worked through this.

Watch Biden get sick and fall ill first. He'll be in a coma or something when Obama gets it, then Biden will die.

BAM!!! Pelossi is president!

This is my new and IMPROVED conspiracy.

All I know is if I were Biden, I'd hire a food tester.

12:03 PM, February 10, 2009



Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Explain to Me the Difference

I'm really wondering here. Hoping someone can explain to me...

...the difference between a man buying a woman a $25 worth of drinks at a bar for an hour of sex and a man just handing a woman $25 for an hour of sex? If they're both consenting adults WHO FREAKING CARES?! Isn't it more important to catch rapists and child molesters and locking THEM up behind bars?

I'm not promoting prostitution. I'm just saying that there is "X" amount of money available to enforce the laws. I just think we should be a bit more concerned about crimes where there are actual VICTIMS.

...why Prozac and other HIGHLY ADDICTIVE feel good drugs and pain-killers are okay to be on and use, but pot is evil. I know more women who take Prozac or something similar EVERY SINGLE DAY than I know women who don't. Most of them go to church. And since it's a prescription, it's okay. But don't DARE even THINK about having A toke once or twice a week. You'll be skewered.

Pot is so much better for you. For starters, there are NO WITHDRAWAL symptoms from pot. Know why? It's NOT physically addictive, despite the LIES LIES LIES the government tells. Pot is great for stress, migraines, stress, sprains, stress, pulled muscle, stress, glaucoma, stress, AND it's PROVEN to help remove the plaque from the brain which is a cause of Alzheimer's and dementia.

Did I mention it's good for stress?

Plus, you can grow it in your own backyard. So no more $300 a month pill bills. Not to mention the cost of doctor visits, where your drug dealer, I mean doctor, writes a new script every 3 months.

...why drinking alcohol, which increases anger and violence, is legal, while pot, which makes you mellow and feel the love, is illegal. Seriously. When was the last time you heard of a bong fight getting out of control?! ~N~E~V~E~R~ See, people drink, they see someone they may not even know. That person looks at them "funny" and bar stools go flying. If said drunk person gets out of the bar without getting in a fight, he gets behind the wheel of a car and does 80 mph in a 35 mph and kills himself, someone else, lands in a ditch, knocks down a tree, etc.

When people get stoned, they see their arch nemesis, share a hit or two, share a box of Twinkies, and then decide they really love each other. If they get behind the wheel of a car (for more Twinkies), they go 10 mph in a 35 mph because they THINK they're going a lot faster than they really are.

Now I'm not promoting drinking and driving or toking and driving. I know someone who was killed by a drunk driver so I'm not making light of it. I'm just saying, isn't it more likely to survive an accident where someone was going TEN than it is where someone is going EIGHTY?! Isn't better to share a joint and some Twinkies with someone you hated when you were straight, than it is to smash some stranger in the head with a bar stool? Just observations. That's all.

...why stop prison inmates in maximum security prisons from killing each other? These people are the WORST of the WORST society has to offer. I figure a few funerals after two weeks of free for all rioting would cost less than keeping these people alive and in prison for the rest of their lives. Couldn't we do something better with that money? Like feed some homeless people or something?

...and why try to make gangs get along? They WANT to kill each other. I say we let them do it, but do it safely. We take them all out to an island surrounded by sharks, give them each an automatic weapon, put them on different parts of the beach, and LET THEM GO! The last one standing can be declared "King of the Island". Think of all the innocent victims of drive-by's we could save. They're all gonna wind up dead before the age of 30 anyway. I know it may sound cold, but jeez! Everyone says they want them off the streets, but the gun shooting gansta lifestyle is the kind they WANT to lead. It has NOTHING to do with poverty or income. Don't believe me? Take a good look at Gansta Rap "stars" or some football or basketball stars.

...why saying "sh*t" when you're angry is worse than saying "crap" or saying "d*mn" when you're angry is worse than saying "darn". Isn't it the temper that's the issue and not so much the word that you use that matters?

And yet, my children are allowed to say crap, but not "sh*t". And I used the "*" to replace the vowels in "sh*t" and "d*mn" but had no problems with "crap" and "darn".

...how people in Hollywood like to make fun of us "simple folk" who live in rural communities and states, but THEY'RE the ones that don't know that
BULLS.
DON'T.
HAVE.
UDDERS!

It was nearly impossible for me to watch Barnyard with Ben the Bulls UDDERS swinging from side to side as he walked, ran, danced, etc.

Of course, I MAY have figured out the answer to that one on my own some time back while I was watching the television cartoon. I think he's an hermaphrodite. Typical Hollywood.

~*~*~Krystal Out~*~*~

Just a Few Things You Need to Know

* $5,000 per household for insurance is a lot less for a family of say SEVEN than it is for say a SINGLE PERSON.

* Joe the Plumber scrimped and scraped and saved and worked and perfected his skill enough to purchase a small business, NOBODY should have the right to "spread his wealth around" except HIM. HE ALONE earned that money and HE ALONE should get to decide who DESERVES to be helped out with it.

* The tax cuts Bush enacted will expire soon. If they are not extended, indeed, people's taxes WILL BE INCREASED. It's like a sale that expires...unless you extend it, you stupid people running for office, people pay MORE.

* People who pay no taxes deserve NO REBATE OR STIMULUS CHECK!

* No one needs a triple Whopper with Cheese. Seriously. SERIOUSLY!

~*~*~Krystal Out~*~*~

Michael Jackson

I was watching my chickens when the song "PYT" started playing in my head. Then it hit me! The lyrics!

I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
And I'll Take You There

I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
I'll Shake You There

Now I've come to realize that he was sending us all a message. Need I spell it out for you?! After all, he said in a video interview that several young boys had slept in his bed with him and it was perfectly natural...

Think they were PYT's?

Just a Few Words to Ponder

Incoherent…

Now THAT’S a word for you. Huh? You say? Did you really take your children to school wearing your house slippers? Yes, yes I did. And I went into the office with them on as well. And when I walked out of the school, I fell on my arse.

Babbling…

Now that’s ANOTHER word for you. And you’d think that with the lack of sleep and my current state of weariness I’d shut up. But when I’m exhausted my mouth runneth over (my backside runneth over all the time, thank-you Little Thyroid).

Sleep…

Such a lovely thought, with one little caveat, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep tonight if I had slept today. Plus, I had this electrical socket I had to change and a couple children to home school.

Dinner...

Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, Corn Bread. How’s that sound for dinner, Jeff? I’ll leave dessert up to you guys.

Writer’s Strike…

It’s been over for quite some time now, and still no new episodes. They have to write scripts and then shooting them takes time. Okay, okay, but explain to me how it is that all these soaps can have one-hour episodes everyday all year long without ever running repeats, but prime time shows are down to like ten new episodes a season? And THOSE actors and writers make more money! Seems to me that the people working on daytime soaps work the hardest and deserve more money. They obviously work more. Did they quit having new episodes as well? I wouldn’t know, I don’t watch soaps.

Underwear…

Comes in several sizes for ladies. They are: Eat-a-Big-Mac, Small, Medium, Large, Wide Load, and Lard Arse. I had to buy Wide Load today. It’s very sad since less than a year ago I needed Medium. I was so upset I came home and ate a Girl Scout cookie. Then it struck me, I’m addicted to Girl Scout cookies! I’ve decided to sue them for putting an addictive chemical in their cookies.

Hot Chili…

I had a small chili today from Wendy’s. I was in my car. I opened the top of the container. It was very hot. I burned my tongue. I think I should sue them as well. You see, I could have been in a moving vehicle and spilled it on myself when I opened it. And even though people like their food hot, I think Wendy’s should consider people who eat in their cars. Besides, no one needs food so hot they burn their mouths on it. It’s dangerous, so I think that their chili should from henceforth be served a little more than warm.

Fast Cars…

Why do we need cars that go 130 mph? There is absolutely nowhere in this country where that is legal. I think that all cars should be blocked from going over 70. Not only is it unsafe to go 130 mph, but also while going that speed they could run into someone eating hot chili from Wendy’s. This would make them spill the chili on their lap giving them third degree burns. Then that person would have to sue all sorts of different people making a big mess.

Slow cars and lukewarm chili…THAT’S what this country needs!

Off to make dinner.

Watching TV

Pull-Ups Training Pants now have a new feature; they turn cool within seconds of getting wet. So I see this commercial and I instantly have the following two questions:

* WTH kind of chemicals are in there?!
* What if some little fella went to sleep and pissed himself...would his pecker freeze off?!

Certainly I'm not the only woman who had that thought.

She's a Train Wreck

I couldn't help but watch the TMZ.com Britney videos. And it's like that dag-blasted trainwreck people are always talking about. I can't stop watching. Anyone one else ever see the movie Sybil? I think that Brit-Brit is now Sybil. I mean, she has the car pulled over for no reason and then bawls out the driver...WITH A FRIGGING BRITISH ACCENT...that she'll drive her "own f*cking car".

At some point we gotta realize that the fun voyer time is over. It's a train wreck already! Wow! It's not even funny anymore. It's become...pitiful.

And yet I can't stop watching.

I've been drinking. Not like a lot, but, you know, enough.

Yeah!

Random Thoughts That Made Me Laugh

I was watching Hannity and the Lizard Man discuss last night's debate. They had some guests and were asking a bunch of questions. Listen, I realize that national security and immigration and health care are ALL important issues. But when will SOMEONE finally get around to asking THE most pressing question...

Who's most likely to legalize Happy Grass?

Because that person has my vote.

Since no one at Fox seemed interested in the same burning issue, I decided to change the channel and watch something about UFO's. So there's this old guy with a doctorate in astronomy. Wanna know what his job has been for the last forty+ years?

Seriously...

This guy points a radio telescope at stars to send those stars signals of our existence so we might find other life forms somewhere in creation. They once got all excited because they did receive an unusual signal a few decades ago. Turned out it was an airplane. Oh hey.

I want this guy's job. I could do that job. All it requires is a little legalized Happy Grass. Call me "DR. Krystal." I shall now aim my hairdryer at the brightest star...Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are...and turn it on HIGH. Maybe the vibrations will reach some green being with antennae.

I am SO convinced that the Almighty must looked down on the idiots people He created and just laugh at the absurd and bizarre things that we do. No irreverence meant. But come ON!

I did my duty and watched The Health Inspector with the kids last night. I love watching movies with the kids, but this movie I just didn't enjoy. It was filled with kindergarten fart and diarrhea humor. I guess I've evolved beyond that.

In the news... They've identified who the woman is in the "Mona Lisa" by da Vinci. Somehow this information makes the "Mona Lisa" less interesting to me. The mystery of the woman behind the portrait made it a bit more special. Now it's just another painting of just another person. The shroud of mystery has been removed, the fun has been ruined for us all.

I've been reading The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. I'm really enjoying it. You can read it for free online HERE if anyone is interested. I personally own the book.

We have to be at the hospital tomorrow at 7:00 am for my son's glucose tolerance test. We will be finding out if diabetes will be a new medical diagnosis that we can add to the litany of medical issues my one son deals with. At this point I need both hands and one foot to count them all. I think his goal is both feet. One day I'll list them all for you. He's fine. I mean, it's not like he's battling a brain tumor or cancer or some other life-threatening illness. He just has...THINGS that make his life interesting.

Next week White Boy and Happy Gilmore will be getting braces. Happy Gilmore will also have to have oral surgery in the next month to remove a baby tooth. He's actually excited about this. Little. Does. He. Know. HA!

We were told there would be snow today. Lying bastard meteorologist! Not a single spot of white stuff to be found. Lying bastard meteorologist! Not even light flurries. Lying bastard...Oh, you get the point by now.

I have a new great-niece. I can't wait to see pictures of her! I'm hoping to make a trip out there next weekend maybe (Bear...can I have $200???) to see her. Of course we just filled the propane tank today ($359.14) so I may have to wait just a little bit longer.

I'm a bit bummed as I can't find Back at the Barnyard on T.V. anymore. I got a kick out of watching that hermaphrodite, Ben the Bull, dance around with his utters swinging from side to side (no...bulls don't have utters...they have nuts and a giant schlong...not that I expect those to be drawn on a cartoon character, but seriously...utters? That's like making a rooster lay an egg. And if you don't understand what's wrong with that you're truly an idiot...and probably a liberal to boot...).

I guess that's all I have. Peace out.

Krystal

"To be good is to be in harmony with one's self...Discord is to be forced to be in harmony with others. One's own life--that is the important thing." - The Picture of Dorian Gray, chapter 6

Annoying...

When I let you in in front of me when I have the right-of-way, wave "thank-you". It isn't that difficult. Even in the pouring rain I will ALWAYS lower my window just a bit to wave to someone who has been kind enough to let me in.

If you are too afraid to drive, DON'T DRIVE! When you sit there for five minutes waiting for there not to be a single car in sight, passing on large gaps in traffic that are big enough to let you, the car directly behind you, and me all out at once, it pisses me off and makes me late. The peddle is on the right. Press it hard, you'll make it across the street. Promise.

I have the zit from hell over my right eyebrow. It hurts.

Alcohol Induced Rambling...

You know that kind of happy feeling you get after three Rum and Cokes and a couple glasses of wine with good friends? Well, that's the kind of happy I'm feeling right now. We have some friends up visiting and we had dinner with them and a few drinks. This is what life is suppose to be about; love, family and good friends.

Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!

Just Wondering

Does anyone else have a difficult time containing themselves whenever they hear the lyrics, "Don we now our gay apparel..."? I find it especially funny when a man sings it.

Rock-solid erections that feel bigger, wider and fuller http://ekonisia.com/

Thought that might be useful to some of you men out there. I keep getting the emails, but I have no penis, so I just wanted to pass it on.

HEY!

I have a question. The infamous "THEY" say that a woman should have no more than 4 oz of alcohol a day or else she raises her chance for breast cancer. So here's the question, is that an AVERAGE of 4 oz a day? Or is it 4 oz per day max rather you drink once a week or seven days a week? And is that in a "day" or in a 24 hour period of time?

If it's an AVERAGE of 4 oz a day, can I save the drinks from Sunday - Thursday and then split the 28oz between Friday and Saturday night? Or better yet, can I save it up for two weeks and then go on a bender?

I can do that.

And if it is 4 oz in a 24 hour period of time, does that mean that if I have a drink at 8:30 Wednesday night that I can't have Thursday's drink until 8:30 without running the risk of breast cancer?

Then there's the question of are 4 oz of wine and 4 oz of Tequila equivalent? Because if they are, we'll all have to ditch the wine and go straight for the hard stuff because 4 oz of wine just doesn't do the trick the way 4 oz of Tequila does. Tequila makes my clothes come off...well so does rum and wine and straight water...

I NEED CLARIFICATION!!!

On to...TMI TUESDAY!!!!
yeah, I've been meaning to do this...but I always forget until WEDNESDAY. So I guess it's really TMI Wednesday.

DEAL.

1. Are you a member of the mile high club?

Well of COURSE! Who the heck isn't?! ...now what else can I do with that private jet of mine...

2. What is the most public place you have ever had sex?

The last site of the War of Northern Aggression (that would be the "Civil War" for all you Yankees out there...). We were on a picnic with Bear's family. We left the eldest with his parents, sister, her family, his brother and wife and went looking. We tried having INTERCOURSE at this gazebo near the water, but almost got caught by a family with little kids. So we went on to find a nice tree for me to hold onto.

Nine months later baby #2 was born.

3. What is your most embarrassing family moment?

You know, I have five children. When is there NOT a most embarrassing family moment?! However, my eldest going to church and singing the chorus to Rag Doll at the age of 3 was a memorable moment.

(For those of you who are NOT Aerosmith fans)

Rag Doll livin' in a movie
Hot tramp Daddy's little cutie
You're so fine they'll never see ya leavin' by the back door
Hot time get it while it's easy
Don't mind come on up and see me
Rag Doll baby won't you do me like you done before

4. What kind of birth control do you use?

We use condoms when we feel like it or when I'm ovulating. Although sometimes when I'm ovulating we're too into it to bother.

Thus the five kids.

Bonus (as in optional):Describe your flirting technique: innuendo, telling a dirty joke, talking about sex life, or physical contact?

We've been having I-N-T-E-R-C-O-U-R-S-E for a little over 17 years now. I don't flirt. I walk up to him and tell him I'd like to get laid. He's happy to oblige.

What City Should You Live In?
	You should live in Las Vegas. Why see the eiffel tower when you can see the fake eiffel tower? You have ethics, but you're not afraid to abandon them to have a good time. Gaudy Las Vegas may be just the city to satisfy your party itch.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com