Seriously.

The woman who hit me, her insurance was not current.

So This is How it Works

Teenage girl slams into me going 60 in a school.

I sustain a head injury.

I sustain a neck injury.

Head injury may have life long repurcussions.

I'm having problems with balance, fine motor skills, short term memory, auditory processing, reading comprehension, regular comprehension, concentration.

I have pains in the back of my head from where I hit my head.

My PIP has run out.

I still need medical care.

NOW HER insurance company informs me that they don't pay as you go. They will only give me one lump sum after I have completed all medical care. Except I don't have the money for said medical care. I'm told to get personal liens against me for my medical care and pay for it after treatment ends. Except they don't have to tell me how much coverage there is. I could run up $38,000 in bils and find out she only has $25,000. Then I'm stuck for the rest. Or I could stop at $25,000 and just live with my problems as is while she has $100,000 in coverage.

Now this gets even better. People say sue her family for the rest, as is the right thing to do if they only took $25,000 in coverage, BUT in order to get the $25,000 from the insurance company you have to sign a release saying you won't do that.

So if I had lost a limb in the accident and they only had $25,000 in coverage, that's all I'd get. If they had $50,000, that's all I'd get. I'd be stuck with the rest of the bills and loose MY house for their daughter's driving.

So let me ask you THIS question: why then should I pay higher premious for $100,000/$300,000 coverage if I can't be sued anyway? I'm thinking *I* should get some small crappy insurance company and the lowest required coverage and spend my extra cash on my farm.

So much to blog...

Okay. This is what's going on with me. I have brain fog. Like a lot. and I have since the accident. I use to read books like Dorian Gray and Monte Cristo (unabridged) and Dante's Inferno. I read the writings of Dostoevsky and Kahlil Gibran. Now I read two pages and I'm lost because I can't remember what I've read or I can't comprehend it.

I use to be able to read chapters from the Bible and understand. Now I can only read a few verses at a time and have to stop. I can't read my NIV because "shall" makes no sense to me. I have to mentally make an effort to say that shall means should or will.

I couldn't sit through Bible study last night at church. After about twenty minutes my mind was in such a fog, it was spinning so bad that I had to get up and leave or I would have burst into tears. I couldn't take any sounds. I didn't want to hear a voice. I sat in the back room and covered my ears for a minute or so just to be in silence so I could still my head. I went back in after about 10-15 minutes. I can't tell you details of what the minister said during the twenty minutes I was in there though. He mentioned Hosea, the divided kingdom of Israel, Ahab and his son, Omri. One of them married Jezebel and brough Baal worship to Israel. I don't have details in my head, but I remember that much.

I'm twitchy sometimes. My right arm when bent to my side, like when I'm sitting, will twitch. My left eyelid twitches evidently as well (I've been told). I repeat myself and am unaware of it. I misplace things. I can't remember things.

My hands shake doing fine motor skills. I can't sew. I can't do detailed scrapbooking. My hand shakes sometimes as it gets close to my mouth when I eat. So much for soup, eh? LOL!

Sometimes my brain gets so foggy that I feel like I'm lost. I can't remember why I was going the way I was or what I should or could do. I can't make decisions sometimes. I just feel lost. I use to be able to do things like 37 x 7 in my head in a few seconds. Now I take half a minute or more, and am frequently wrong. I was considering going back to school and had already talked with an enrollment counselor. I don't know how I would be able to do school if I'm like this. I'd need help. I'm hyper-sensitive to sound and light.

My doctor says it probably will go away. He says it will probably not be permanent. Of course it's the word "probably" that nags at me. What if I'm like this for the rest of my life? Then I guess I'll go on.

Helen Keller

They've a new picture of her with her teacher Anne Sullivan. It's the earliest known. I mention this because what Keller and Sullivan accomplished is beyond amazing. In a time when a blind deaf mute would be tossed aside and disregarded as a poor sould or useless or worthless. Keller went on to learn to read sevearl languages in Braille. She was an amazing woman, as was her teacher. They are forever a lesson to the world what love and determination can accomplish. If you do not know about the story of Helen Keller, please read about her.

SNOW!! SNOW!! SNOW!!

Yes, it's coming my way. Supposedly there's lots of it. Maybe I'll finally get to take my kids sledding!!! They've never been. I haven't since I was a kid. I have two snow saucers and I have every intention of going up that hill and riding one all the way to the bottom!

Maybe I should wear a helmet...

But I'm doing it! I'm going to ride down in the snow and laugh and yell like a kid and enjoy every minute of it! I'm going to keep one saucer totally to myself and make all five kids share the other one! I'm going to laugh and giggle like I were ten! Except now I'm old enough to truly understand how important it is to make the most out of every joy in life. I want to feel the THRILL of it all over again.

And this time I'm going to bask in it and soak it all up. One day I'll be 75. And I still plan to go sliding down a hill of snow in my saucer!

Damn the torpedos! FULL STEAM AHEAD!

Let's All Sing Together Now

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear, Krystal-who's-dogs-broke-into-the-chicken-coop-and-ran-off-two-chickens-you-later-rescued-before-breaking-up-a-cock-fight-in-the-other-chicken-coop-during-which-you-were-stabbed-by-one-of-the-cocks-but-you-just-pulled-its-tallen-out-of-your-hand-while-the-bird-was-hanging-upside-down!
Happy birthday to you!

I got my mojo back! Krystal's groove is back on!

And it's about freaking TIME! It's been two LONG weeks since the accident and today I am THIRTY-SEVEN...yes 37-years-old! And anyone who believes two 17-year-olds who were speeding through a school zone over a 37-year-old mother of five who's been driving for 22 years is a gullible fool!

I'm back!

Yeah!

I'm back!

Yeah!

I'm wearing my boots!

Yeah!

And my hat!

Yeah!

With a chicken feather in it!

Woot! Woot! And a cockle-doodle-doo!

Possible Side Effects

Always Notify Doctor:

Less common: Anxiety; confusion (may be more common in the elderly); fast, pounding, or irregular heartbeat; lack of memory of events taking place after benzodiazepine is taken (may be more common with triazolam); mental depression

Rare: Abnormal thinking, including disorientation, delusions (holding false beliefs that cannot be changed by facts), or loss of sense of reality; agitation; behavior changes, including aggressive behavior, bizarre behavior, decreased inhibition, or outbursts of anger; convulsions (seizures); hallucinations (seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not there); hypotension (low blood pressure); muscle weakness; skin rash or itching; sore throat, fever, and chills; trouble in sleeping; ulcers or sores in mouth or throat (continuing); uncontrolled movements of body, including the eyes; unusual bleeding or bruising; unusual excitement, nervousness, or irritability; unusual tiredness or weakness (severe); yellow eyes or skin

I fall under both for my reaction. I wasn't quite having tea with the Easter Bunny, but I was talking to people who weren't there. I knew they weren't there, but I was talking to them anyway. I was afraid to go to hospital because they would stick me with needles. WTH WOULD BE IN THOSE NEEDLES?! WERE THEY GOING TO STRAP ME DOWN?! WOULD THEY PLACE MY CHILDREN IN FOSTER CARE?!

WOULD I END UP IN A ROOM WITH BRITTNEY SPEARS?!

I could feel my pulse pounding...in my knees. I was extremely paranoid. I had abnormal breathing patterns. Breathing took too much effort. Could I stop without dieing...?

I was up.

I was down.

I told people off (okay...that felt good). I cried. I cried some more.

Should I call my pastor for help? No, he'd send me to the hospital and they'd STRAP ME DOWN AND STICK ME WITH NEEDLES AND MAKE ME PEE IN A BEDPAN!!!

I was being watched...by my teddy bear. He was sad and about to cry.

Those are just some highlights of what I remember from a 2 1/2 hours "bad trip", folks. The next day I was depressed and fighting tears for hours.

Anyone want my left over Lorazepam? I have eight 1 mg tablets left.

And NOW I'm PISSED!

So you know that lovely little accident I was in last week? I got the police report today. Says I did nothing to cause the accident. I had an expired tag. I got a ticket.

Also says the day was clear, road was dry. Other driver was going 45 in a 35 school. There was a warning sign with a flashing light, she was not paying attention. She was distracted. She was not in control of her vehicle. She saw me slowing down, but didn't know I was going to turn (it's really hard to see a person's blinker when you're not looking I guess). Says her car is totaled. Says three people had to go to the hospital. Says it's her fault. Also says
SHE
WAS
NOT
TICKETED!

So *I*, the victim, have to go to court to explain why my tag was expired (five people with whooping cough, one with strep...twice, one with bronchitis that almost went into pneumonia, one having seizures and trying different medications...how could I have POSSIBLY over looked my tag????), but the teenaged driver who wasn't paying attention and had committed several moving violations...she has to explain herself to NO ONE.

Can't Sleep

I woke up about an hour ago and can't go back to sleep. The accident really has me shook up (see previous post).

My neck is a little sore, but that's not why I can't sleep. One of my babies was in the car with me. He wasn't hurt or anything like that, but he was with me. I keep hearing the screeching of her tires. She really must not have been paying attention because she screeched long enough for me to think, "Hey, someone's really screeching their tires. I hope they stop before they hit someone." Then BOOM! and my van goes out of control and I nearly hit this pick-up truck. And Tuna is out of the car wandering around like he does (it's an Asperger's thing).

I saw the girl's car was totaled and it didn't totally register you know. I'd been hit. I called my husband and told him I was in a pretty bad accident but I was okay. I asked the girls if they were okay. They were just sitting in this little red car and not getting out.

The windshield wasn't cracked. They said they were okay. But the car is totaled.

I couldn't stop walking around. My heading was hurting from where I hit the metal frame of my seat. I was getting this headache. And I kept looking around for Tuna.

And I had to pick my daughter up from ballet.

And I had to pick my son up from trumpet lesson.

And I had to get my other son to speech.

And I had two kids at home.

And my head was hurting.

And I wanted to puke.

And OMG, I was just in a bad accident and my baby was in the car.

And they said I needed to go to the hospital because I might have a concussion.

And who was going to take care of my kids for me?

And I just didn't want to cry in front of anyone because I don't do that.

And I really need to cry. I really need to cry pretty hard because I'm really shook up and I'm starting to get a headache.

But I guess I'll just let these few tears roll and then I'll cram the rest deep down inside like I do everything else.

Then tomorrow, well I guess it is tomorrow, I'll call my insurance agent and find out where to take my car to get fixed and I'm so glad Bear is driving up so we don't have to rent a vehicle. And my back hurts a little.

I'm not taking the pain killers though. I don't like them.

And I feel sick to my stomach.

If those girls or my son had not been wearing their seat belts, they'd be dead. None of our airbags deployed and they'd all be dead and I'd be seriously injured right now.

OMG. And now I can't stop these stupid tears from running down my face.

And I dropped my urin sample in the toilet at the hospital because they waiting too long to let me pee. I don't use bedpans and they kept pressing on my stomach. I finally got up and told the guy I had to pee and he wanted me to wait for a bedpan. And there wasn't time I was going to pee my pants so I went to the bathroom with this neck brace on and they're having me hold this cup to pee in and I'm having to squat over the toilet and pee in a cup I couldn't see. I peed on my hand instead and that freaked me out and I dropped the cup in the toilet.

Then I fished it out and told them they'd have to give me lots of water if they wanted another one. They opted out of the urine sample. Did I tell you this already? I don't remember.

My mother bought DiGiorno pizza at the store. It really does taste like delivery.

And She TOTALED Her Car

But I think just the corner panner and back bumper of my vehicle will have to be replaced. The teen driver has bruised ribs and I think a sprained wrist. Her passenger (with whom I shared a ride to the hospital with holding hands all the way strapped to boards with neck braces on), I think is just sore.

But her car is completely totaled. Even the engine looked like an accordian.

I had one of the kids in the car with me. Thank the Almighty for seat belts. He would have been dead. She was going at least sixty. I was turning into my daughter's school to pick her up. Hit me so hard that she moved my oversized van 25 feet. It spun a little. I almost hit a pick-up coming out of the school.

I'm so grateful everyone is okay.

Tomorrow I'll be sore.

But the doctor gave me pain killers.