From the Constitution Libertarian desk of
Krystal A. Kelly

Showing posts with label Friday Fragments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friday Fragments. Show all posts

Friday, February 26, 2010

Friday Fragments

At his Christian school Wednesday, my autistic 14-year-old asked his teacher the following question during class, "What is douche?"

Needless to say, all the other students laughed. When I told him in the car what it was, he was completely grossed out and agreed to ask ME questions instead of his teachers. BTW, he heard the term "douche" on Family Guy.

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This morning in the car ...

Eldest Son: God didn't answer my prayer. Wait, He DID answer my prayer, but not the way I wanted Him to.

Me: What was your prayer?

Eldest Son: That it would snow so I wouldn't have school.

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At the request of a few friends, my daughter and I went to Wal Mart today to complete a baby shower registry. She really enjoyed being in charge of the scanner. I bet all of the laundry detergent I registered for makes a few people laugh.

I use cloth diapers.

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I don't have much else to say. I'm going to bed.



Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Friday, March 6, 2009

Friday Fragments

I bought a two pack of ibuprofen a few days ago. Each of the bottles were only half-full. I was able to condense the two bottles into one. What I don't understand is why there were two bottles to begin with? Why not just put all 200 pills in one bottle to begin with? This bothers me.

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Green sticky hands stick really well to vaulted ceilings. Don't ask.

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If a dog farts, and no one is around to smell it, does it still stink?

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Some days I could really use a double dose of sublingual B-12 and a triple caffeinated cherry soda. Friday was one of those days.


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18 Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies contains 687 calories and 31.5 grams of fat.



Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Friday, February 27, 2009

Friday Fragments

Friday Fragments?


Those of you who have me on your BLOGROLL should note that I've fixed the problem that prevents your blogroll from updating when I post. All you need to do it remove me from your blog roll, save it, then add me again. BATMAN did it and it's working swell!

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My friend and fellow blogger POBBLE married last weekend. My favorite picture is of one of the guests who had a little too much to drink:



Please be-bop on over to her place to see more pictures and give them your congrats!!!

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Started this week out by putting deodorant on my hair instead of hairspray.

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As White Boy is carrying Gomer in his arms like a bride and groom:

White Boy: I'm so glad Obama is President! Now we can get married and live in wedded bliss!

Gomer: I'm so happy too! Smooch! Smooch! Smooch!

...Yeah, my boys don't kiss each other. They say smooch, smooch...

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Between the ice storm school days, and the days the kids have missed from our being gone (because of the ice storm) and the boys being sick this week, the boys have attended school FOUR DAYS this month. My daughter has attended six.

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Yesterday I was given four roosters for the stew pot. I sure hope I kill them before I start to pull out all their feathers!

Read THIS POST to understand...

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday Fragments

This Friday Fragments was written the Friday morning after our ice storm. We had no electricity, no running water, and it was cold. I was trying to focus on the good. Each thought came to me as I was doing things, trying to clean up and make the best of it. Each thought was it's own "fragment".


Friday Fragments?



I am thankful for cast iron skillets that can sit directly on hot coals and be cleaned with a paper towel.

I am thankful for friends that care.

I am thankful for a propane fireplace.

I am thankful for my house and car not sustaining any damages.

I am thankful for Rubbermade storage containers that protect food from critters while sitting out on the back porch keeping our food cold.

I am thankful for a church family that pulls together and my minister who cut me out of my driveway.

I am thankful for spaghettio's and bologna that make a great lunch and can be eaten cold.

I am thankful for clean underwear.

I am thankful for germs you can share with your family when you can't wash dishes.

I am thankful for the amazing ice cycles that are covering the trees and making my part of the world look like a winter wonderland.

I am thankful for the tinkling sound of the ice as it falls to the ground.

I am thankful for peanut butter sandwiches that we could live off of.

I am thankful for Yahtzee and Monopoly.

I am thankful for snow that melts and can be used to flush toilets.

I am thankful for having four boys that can go outside.

I am thankful for the fresh scent of pine that has filled the air from the breaking of the trees.

I am thankful for beauty in decimation.

I am thankful for blankets and warm socks.

I am thankful for the sun that finally showed this morning that warmed my face and made me laugh and let me cry.

I am most thankful for my God who continually goes before me, prepares my way and guides my step even now. There is nowhere I can go that He hasn't aready been.

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Friday, January 23, 2009

Friday Fragments

Friday Fragments?

I hate Activia commercials. I have NEVER had a conversation with one of my friends showing pictures of our holidays and then one of us saying, "...but now I'm irregular."

I have had several conversations with female friends regarding the length and flow of our monthlies.

I've never discussed douching. ICK!

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There are some drawbacks to living in a small town. But there are many more perks! For example, if you leave your wallet at the locally owned gas station on a Friday afternoon, like I did last week, you have a good chance that the owner will show up at your house that evening after they've closed to give it to you, like he did. They were going to be closed on Saturday and didn't want me to not have it all weekend.

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There is talk about Madonna having wrinkles and not looking oh so super sexy anymore. Dare I state the obvious? SHE'S 50! And let's face it, she's lived hard! Yet these pictures amaze people.

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I am really happy I have a large family! I would have liked to have had one more. But on laundry days, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the amount of laundry they produce. There have been a few times that I've felt the tears spring into my eyes because of the behemoth in front of me.

But I've never actually cried (except when the dryer broke). And there have even been a few times I've been able to complete ALL the laundry in ONE DAY. WOO! HOO!

Today is laundry day.

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Every day is Easter at our place. After free ranging our chickens for a couple weeks, my hens decided that they would start laying egg in various places around the property instead of the henhouse. Today I found two clutches. One clutch had six green eggs, the other had one green egg and two brown. All but two of the eggs had cracked in the freezing temps. I figure that somewhere...out there...there must be at least seven more clutches with at least four dozen eggs.
Oh a huntin' I will go! A huntin' I will! Hi-ho-a-dairio! A huntin' I will go!

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I have several friends who are school teachers. One of my friends is having to teach poetry to 8 and 9 year olds. These children had to research an animal and then write a poem about it. The example the state gave for a good poem goes something like this:

If I were a tiger living in the lush green forest,
I would see tall green trees,
I would see rivers flowing with clear cool water,
I woulld see dew glistening in the mornig sun...

What she's getting is this:

If I were a monkey living in the jungle,
I would see trees.

..because they're 8 and 9 years old. She then has to "help them" add adjectives.

At 6:30 this morning I received the following text message:

If I were a monkey living in the jungle
I would hate f***ing bananas!

I suggested she hand it on the wall with the other poems.

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Have a great weekend! I'm off to do laundry...

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Friday Fragments

Welcome to





My fake prelit Christmas tree is still laying on the floor in my living room. The ornaments are still on my counter.

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Conversation in the car with the kids two days ago.

Gilligan: "A man had a baby and he's having another."

Me: "No. A man did NOT have a baby. A woman who had her boobs cut off and now takes hormones so she can grow facial hair had a baby and is having another."

Gilligan: "Oh...Okay."

White Boy: "That's gross."



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The largest chemical plant in the world is located just 90 miles from my home (as the crow flies). All of the chemicals needed to make a nuclear bomb, nerve bomb and anthrax are produced at this one chemical plant.

Last year it was sold to Arabs.



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My daughter sold 184 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. And we're going out again tomorrow. Over half of those cookies have been purchased for the soldiers over seas.

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My son's girlfriend eats tofu with me.

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My boobs are absolutely killing me. I love "The Change".

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Friday Fragments One Day Late

Sorry this is late. My husband dominated the computer when we got home last night. This week's fragments will be told in picture with as few words as necessary.

Friday Fragments?

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I start with my first blog award EVER. I won this for my Friday Fragment of Dec 19 and my escapade in chicken cleaning and dressing. Thank-you, I'm really excited! LOL!
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Plucky fit in my hand and use to sit there while I just petted and stroked him. He was killed, along with five other birds, when a couple coyotes attacked on January 1st. Plucky was was of three bodies we found. He was the only one buried. I'll really miss him. He was my favorite.

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Some of today's eggs. Yes, the first one is green.

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Homemade soap. This is cinnamon. This soap takes 2 weeks to cure.

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Firecrackers and bottle rockets work well in the snow.

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My only New Year's resolution, learn to be still.



Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Friday, December 19, 2008

Friday Fragments

Friday Fragments?



I have a male cow that likes to mount my male billy goat. I have a problem with this.
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My husband is arriving with my inlaws late Monday night. They will be sleeping in the room above us. Anyone else see a problem with this?
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I hate cold toilet seats. I don't know why exactly I'm telling you this BUT I have a hairdryer on an extension cord that reaches my toilet so I can warm the seat when it's cold.
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Douche commercials upset me.
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It's 70 outside and there are piles of SNOW on the side of the road. It's going to be 8 outside on Monday.
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It felt so much like spring today that I killed a chicken. Well, I THOUGHT I had killed the chicken. Evidently it was just unconscious. It came too while I pulling out his feathers. First his leg started to kick really slow (I thought I had pulled a nerve or something). Then I noticed he was still breathing. So I wring it's neck AGAIN, sucker wouldn't die. I finally succeeded in killing it. THEN I had to fight to get those stinking long feathers off its wings. They didn't want to come out. THEN, as if this weren't enough, the crop got stuck (the crop is similiar to a somach...but it's up near the neck). THAT was a mess to get out!

The chicken is now marinating in the fridge. This better be one amazing chicken!!

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

Friday, November 21, 2008

Friday Fragments

Friday Fragments?

The major news outlets are all over how the market went up nearly 500 points after Obama chose his Sec. of Treasury...but they weren't all over it went it PLUNGED 900 points after his election. it was the largest post-election plunge in history! It dropped 20% AFTER Obama's election. And the mainstream media just let it ride. Go figure.


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Rambo the Rooster died this afternoon. He was a farm icon. He had three inch long spurs and liked to flog people. We would have eaten him with dumplings this summer, but Princess begged me not to kill him. Now his death was pointless...and I have to BURY HIM...

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The Federal Government made their predictions for the winter. Basically they said it will bet wet...except where it will be dry. And it will be colder than normal...except where it will be warmer than normal. They blame their inability to predict the winter weather on El Nino and La Nina. I say it's just another example of how the government wastes my taxes.

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I'm a great-aunt for the third time! My BFF's eldest son became a daddy today. She was 7 lbs 7 oz and was delivered by c-section. I can't wait to hold her next Friday!!!

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Since my BFF and I are the same age, I guess this means that I'm old enough to be a grandma. My eldest is only 15. I can wait!

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Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~

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