Can't Sleep

I woke up about an hour ago and can't go back to sleep. The accident really has me shook up (see previous post).

My neck is a little sore, but that's not why I can't sleep. One of my babies was in the car with me. He wasn't hurt or anything like that, but he was with me. I keep hearing the screeching of her tires. She really must not have been paying attention because she screeched long enough for me to think, "Hey, someone's really screeching their tires. I hope they stop before they hit someone." Then BOOM! and my van goes out of control and I nearly hit this pick-up truck. And Tuna is out of the car wandering around like he does (it's an Asperger's thing).

I saw the girl's car was totaled and it didn't totally register you know. I'd been hit. I called my husband and told him I was in a pretty bad accident but I was okay. I asked the girls if they were okay. They were just sitting in this little red car and not getting out.

The windshield wasn't cracked. They said they were okay. But the car is totaled.

I couldn't stop walking around. My heading was hurting from where I hit the metal frame of my seat. I was getting this headache. And I kept looking around for Tuna.

And I had to pick my daughter up from ballet.

And I had to pick my son up from trumpet lesson.

And I had to get my other son to speech.

And I had two kids at home.

And my head was hurting.

And I wanted to puke.

And OMG, I was just in a bad accident and my baby was in the car.

And they said I needed to go to the hospital because I might have a concussion.

And who was going to take care of my kids for me?

And I just didn't want to cry in front of anyone because I don't do that.

And I really need to cry. I really need to cry pretty hard because I'm really shook up and I'm starting to get a headache.

But I guess I'll just let these few tears roll and then I'll cram the rest deep down inside like I do everything else.

Then tomorrow, well I guess it is tomorrow, I'll call my insurance agent and find out where to take my car to get fixed and I'm so glad Bear is driving up so we don't have to rent a vehicle. And my back hurts a little.

I'm not taking the pain killers though. I don't like them.

And I feel sick to my stomach.

If those girls or my son had not been wearing their seat belts, they'd be dead. None of our airbags deployed and they'd all be dead and I'd be seriously injured right now.

OMG. And now I can't stop these stupid tears from running down my face.

And I dropped my urin sample in the toilet at the hospital because they waiting too long to let me pee. I don't use bedpans and they kept pressing on my stomach. I finally got up and told the guy I had to pee and he wanted me to wait for a bedpan. And there wasn't time I was going to pee my pants so I went to the bathroom with this neck brace on and they're having me hold this cup to pee in and I'm having to squat over the toilet and pee in a cup I couldn't see. I peed on my hand instead and that freaked me out and I dropped the cup in the toilet.

Then I fished it out and told them they'd have to give me lots of water if they wanted another one. They opted out of the urine sample. Did I tell you this already? I don't remember.

My mother bought DiGiorno pizza at the store. It really does taste like delivery.