In the News - Part Two - The Airline Security Joke

Last on my list ... and deserving of its OWN post!

New security measures being considered, and at some airports used, by the TSA. Pat downs of passengers may become a standard practice. It is estimated to increase your pre-flight arrival time from one hour to three. While I relish the idea of being felt up by another woman in a public place with a few hundred onlookers, the reality is that smokin-hot, pregnant, blue-eyed, blonde knockouts, wearing blue jeans, $300 boots, a $65 hat and a cross AREN'T exactly known for their jihadist activities.

Now I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm willing to wager a dollar to a dime that there isn't a single terrorist out there that's a huge Charlie Daniels fan. Devil may have gone down to Georgia, but he didn't hijack a plane and fly it into a building on the way.

If you're dressed like this, you're good.
God bless Charlie Daniels!
So having ruled out smokin-hot, pregnant, blue-eyed, blonde knockouts and country loving, red necked Charlie Daniels fans as potential threats, I think there may be a few OTHER groups we can rule out as well. For example, the Amish. You could smack these people in the side of the head with a 2x4 and they won't hit you back. I think it's fairly safe to say that they aren't interested in taking down an airplane. Mennonites, may use colored fabric for their dresses and buttons, drive cars, use electricity, but they're non-violent as well. Safe.

Jews. Definitely NOT jihadists.

Atheists wouldn't do ANYTHING in the name of God because they don't believe He exists. Agnostics couldn't care less if God exists one way or the other. Neither of these groups are big recruitment/breeding grounds for jihadist activities.

Wiccans are pretty much into sending "positive energy" into the universe, as are those believers of various Eastern Religions (Indians, Asians). And to clarify "Indians", I mean those from India. However, I don't think that Native Americans spend too much time planning out terror attacks either. They're pretty big into good energies as well.

Witches would cast a spell, not build a bomb.

Hispanics and Italians may be involved in gangs, or the glorified "mob", but they're more about taking out people who interfere with their "activities" and people who get in their way. Yeah, their gangs can wreak havoc on innocent people, they're to blame for a good amount of crime, and it costs the taxpayers money, but they're all Catholic. Catholics aren't exactly notorious for jihads. In fact, I can't remember a single plane hijacking/bomb/terrorist threat to the U.S. from the Catholics. And gangsters are really into self-preservation. They might pop a cap in your ass, but they sure as sugar aren't going to kill themselves in an effort to kill other people for the purposed of proving a point.

Our group already pretty much includes most white males, but we did have the unibomber. So I guess anti-social white males who are skittish and suspicious might have to be considered. But those are few are far between. Most white males traveling by plane are with their family or on the cell phone conducting business. So I'd have to say that the overwhelming majority of white males are also safe. And let's face it, with all of the predominately white countries and people out there, how many white guys have hijacked/blown up airplanes going to the U.S.? Not saying it's never happened, but the security issues enacted are because of terrorist activities that WEREN'T carried out by white people.

Let's see who is on our list of groups NOT known for hijacking airliners:

smokin-hot, pregnant, blue-eyed, blonde knockouts
Charlie Daniels fans
Amish
Mennonites
Jews
Atheists
Agnostics
Wiccans
Witches
Indians
Asians
Native Americans
Hispanics
Italians
Catholics
overwhelming majority of white people

Let's.
Figure.
Out.
Who's.
Left.

Well, to help out the idiots who may stumble onto this post, let's take a look at the faces of the 9/11 hijackers, shall we?

Here are their names:
American Airlines Flight 11
Hijackers: Mohamed Atta al Sayed (Egyptian), Waleed al-Shehri (Saudi Arabian), Wail al-Shehri (Saudi Arabian), Abdulaziz al-Omari (Saudi Arabian), Satam al-Suqami (Saudi Arabian).

United Airlines Flight 175
Hijackers: Marwan al-Shehhi (from the United Arab Emirates), Fayez Banihammad (from the United Arab Emirates), Mohand al-Shehri (Saudi Arabian), Hamza al-Ghamdi (Saudi Arabian), Ahmed al-Ghamdi (Saudi Arabian).

American Airlines Flight 77
Hijackers: Hani Hanjour (Saudi Arabian), Khalid al-Mihdhar (Saudi Arabian), Majed Moqed (Saudi Arabian), Nawaf al-Hazmi (Saudi Arabian), Salem al-Hazmi (Saudi Arabian).

United Airlines Flight 93
Hijackers: Ziad Jarrah (Lebanese), Ahmed al-Haznawi (Saudi Arabian), Ahmed al-Nami (Saudi Arabian), Saeed al-Ghamdi (Saudi Arabian).

Anyone notice the the common threads? Yup. All Arabs. Yup. All Muslims.

I delayed until now to discuss the blacks because we do have a gray area here. There are Arabs who look black. Plus, there ARE a growing number of blacks that are joining a certain religion that DOES promote jihad. So they might warrant a second look if they're carrying a koran or if their name includes "Mohamed" or, I don't know, "HUSSEIN", as in Barrack HUSSEIN Obama.

Having gone through our list of people who AREN'T threats to airliners and having identified the ONE group that IS, I'd like to say that the U.S. government is wasting our time! They're so damned afraid of offending the group of people the terrorists are coming from that they are choosing to offend us all.

And I'm freaking tired of it!

If they didn't waste time pulling random names from passenger lists, like happened to my NINE-YEAR-OLD SON, and asking for identification ("Hey, son, whip out your driver's license. While you're at it, show the idiot your hospital ID tag as well. You're a real life Doogie Howser and I'm mighty proud!"), they could possibly pay more attention to the people the REAL threat comes from.
Our son. We're so proud!
I don't mind going through the metal detector and I don't mind having my bags scanned, but not being allowed to bring my own snacks and bottle of water and being forced to pay $15 for a sandwich, chips and glorified bottled TAP water (ie, Dansani) because there might be explosives hidden in the bologna, gets to me. WHITE WOMEN AREN'T BLOWING UP AIRPLANES, YOU STUPID DUNG HOLES!

Putting all of us through such invasion security measures as pat downs, and such annoying and ass-backwards security measures as showing your ID, twice, because your name was "randomly selected" makes as much sense as searching the house of a black family because someone down the street has a cross burned on their front yard.

So I say that every Muslim or Arab who flies should show up three hours early and be prepared for a freaking cavity search should security deem it necessary (that's all the pat downs will do, force them to hide the goods somewhere you can't feel it in a pat down). That goes double for any woman wearing a bag for a dress and another for a head covering and for any man traveling with a woman wearing a bag for a dress and another for a head covering. THOSE are the people involved in jihadist activities. THOSE are the people sneaking on bombs and weapons. THOSE are the people who pose a threat.

STOP WASTING MY TIME, MY MONEY, MY ENERGY! MOST OF ALL STOP BEING PASCIFYING PANSIES, GROW SOME BALLS AND CALL A SPADE A SPADE! THE MUSLIMS ARE THE THREAT! NOT THE REST OF US!

And if any Muslims out there doesn't like it, then stop the terrorists yourself. Too many of you know who the whack jobs are. You know who the radicals are. You know which mosques across the world are recruiting. So do something about it and stop being whiney freaking crybabies!

Until then, drop your pants and bend over. There's something they need to check you for!


'Nough Said!
~*~*~Krystal~*~*~