And Time Drags On

I am so seriously sick of this crap. It's been 2 years, 7 mos, 2 weeks, and 2 days. I'm having more and more bouts of "whine", which I can NOT stand. I frequently feel as though "the hamster's running, but the wheel ain't spinning".

I'm tired of living this way.

Nights are really hard...depressing and despairing. It's definitely taken its toll on me mentally. I'm not who I use to be. I some ways that's a good thing. But for the most part, it's a bad thing.

I just can't keep going on this way. I know I've been saying that for a long time. I'm not going to just crack. I'm going to shatter. And I don't know if all the pieces will be able to be put back together.

But I'll keep putting the big fake smile on my face because that is really what people expect. No one wants to hear about it anymore, and quite frankly, I wouldn't either.