We Knew There Would be Bumps ... and a deleted post ...

... and this was not the place to vent.

However, having behaved like a child myself and aired our ninth fight in 18 years, I should tell you what we learned.

Bear and I had a nice talk about 2:00 a.m. This is what we came up with, each of us examining OUR part instead of picking the other apart:

He did not hear me say I was starting dinner. And he did not get the message that I had called to say it would be ready in 30 minutes. It is MY responsibility to make sure that when I tell him something that he actually heard me. And MY responsibility to talk to him directly instead of giving a message and expecting it to be passed on. I know that when I've things on my mind, what is said to me doesn't register and I have NO CLUE that anything was said to me at all. And messages are worthless.

He has lived as a bachelor for 4 1/2 years coming and going and eating as he pleased. He has to remember that he is no longer living alone and has to think about now having other people waiting for him. And yes, he wants us to eat together.

We both lost our tempers. And we let the sun go down.

BUT at least we didn't let it come back up.

It's kinda like when you first get married and have to learn to live with each other. We're having to learn all over again. Only this time we were both able to act like grown ups (well ... after acting like donkey behinds) and look for OUR part and where WE need to change instead of pointing a finger at the other.

And we were mature enough to apologize to our children for how our behavior may have hurt them. This is progress.

The next few months are going to have more bumps in the road. I will remember that I had to tell my husband which light switch turns of which light early this morning. The kids and I have routines, but those routines and ways of doing things will have to change some now, because he is not an outsider coming in. He's the head of our family.  As we acclimate to being together again and working as a team instead of two individuals, we're both going to have to make the willful CHOICE to set ourselves aside and to think of the other first. We use to be really good at it, and we will be again.

After all, isn't that what marriage is all about? And despite our actions last night, I love him with every part of me and I know that he loves me equally as much.

And by the way, he really liked the potatoes and pork chops.




~*~*~Krystal~*~*~ Who learned a little about herself.