Housekeeping

Haven't done this in a while. I'm going to answer address two comments left for me.

Jen said:
Now I'm curious what you would be like on the outside if you were on the outside like you are on the inside. ? huh?

That's a very good question. The answer is one that few people get to know. You see, I have no patience for stupidity, yet I'm surrounded by it. So I have to PRETEND that I don't see it and am unaffected by it.

I have no patience for selfish self centered people who take but rarely give. Yet I'm surrounded by those too. So I have to learn to stop being the helper who pours them self out for others because it leaves me feeling empty inside.

I have no patience for people who can't allow others to have their own thoughts, beliefs, values, and way of life, yet we are a world full of conformists idiot sheep who would blindly follow all those in front of them over a cliff. So I have to hold my tongue to keep from telling people that those who make advance in this world have always been those who sought out different ways and avenues for the the idiot sheep who can't think enough for themselves to try something new and BTW, you're an idiot sheep.

I have no patience for people who use emotional blackmail and biting words to hurt people, but feel they are allowed to because they're your mother. So I try to ignore the hurts in a desperate attempt to have the relationship I've always wanted, but have never had.

I walk around with an inflated sense of well-being, desperately trying to feel positive in a world where I am surrounded by negatives. I come across as a weak, bubble-headed blond idiot with occasional emotional outbursts (gotta love that blow to the head I took two years ago). I come up here for anonymity to let it all out, and I still can't. Because admitting that I feel little to no maternal feelings for this baby inside of me that I desperately wanted, admitting that most of my "motherly feelings" are contrived and come from memories of how I felt for my other babies, makes me a cold hearted bitch. Admitting that I am scared more often than not and that I've had thoughts I'm just ashamed of makes me a weakling and gives cause for people to say, "I told you so."

Question answered?


Brooke said:
What is it that inspires people to ask pregnant women the stupidest of questions?
So, has your belly become public patting property yet? LOL!

They're idiots. And no, my belly has not become public property for patting yet, but idiots, I mean people, appear to be having no problem telling me how incredibly huge I am already and how they can tell I'm pregnant from behind already.

Idiots.

Someone drink a beer or six for me.

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~