Not the post you're hoping to find.

Yesterday, I had a complication in my pregnancy. I went to the hospital where an ultrasound showed that my baby had no heart beat and had died several days earlier. I delivered my baby this afternoon around 2:15.

There are so many thoughts that are going through my mind right now. I have to ask myself why God chose to give me this baby for a while and then take my baby away. I can't help but wonder why. But I can honestly and truly say that while I ask that question, I am thanking Him for letting me have that little life inside of me to begin with. I was blessed to have felt the joy of new life again. Many women never get to have that feeling. I've been blessed with it many times over.

There's a song we sing in church that says, "You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your name." That is the song that has been running through my mind since the onset. It is how I feel now.

I asked for an ultrasound picture of my baby. It is in a frame which my daughter has placed in the living room. Peanut, so named because at six weeks a baby is that size of a peanut, will never be forgotten...because Peanut was loved by two parents, five siblings, two grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends, for a time.

Everyone deserves to be loved. Peanut was loved plenty.


Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~