It didn't hit me right away...

When we first went into the nursing home to visit with the people there, things appeared just fine. There were lots of older folk there who smiled and greeted you, some walked, some used walkers, some were in wheelchairs.

"This is okay," I thought to myself. "These people are happy to be here. This is a good quality of life."

We ran into some people who were Alzheimer's. They were living back in their youth. They smiled and greeted you, some walked, some used walkers, some were in wheelchairs.

"This is okay," I thought to myself. "These people are happy to be here. This is a good quality of life."

The longer we were there, I met some of the residents who had had strokes when they were otherwise healthy. They needed assistance. Some of them had lost the use of an arm. Most were in wheelchairs. They slurred when they spoke and drooled on occasion, but most of them were happy. One woman in particular would move her wheelchair rather quickly with her feet. She couldn't speak anymore, but she was always into mischief and had this twinkle in her eyes.

"This is okay," I thought to myself. "I wouldn't necessarily WANT to live like this, but these people are happy to be here. They still have an okay quality of life."

Then I saw the others. They were all elderly people who had already been up in years with health issues who'd had strokes or heart attacks and were saved with "heroic" measures. They moaned. Their eyes were vacant. They soiled themselves. They had sores. They cried. One of them had constant spasms, some so violent that they had to keep her strapped to her chair so she wouldn't fly out. They fed them through tubes in their stomachs and put them through dialysis a few times a weeks to keep them alive.

They obviously wanted to be dead.

You'd have to be a complete dolt to not see it in their eyes, their loathing for life.

It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears of compassion for those poor souls stuck there and tears of anger for the people who selfishly decided to not let them have their rest.

I DON'T EVER WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT!

It's not heroic keeping them alive. It's selfish in every shape and form. They're prisoners, trapped in living tombs. Their daily lives are filled with anguish. It's nothing short of torture.

I am a woman of faith. And what we do to these people is cruel.

And that is why we need to draw lines. Many of those people are alive because they have insurance that will pay for them to stay that way. People make money off of them. This is nothing new. It's been reported how people with money or insurance are kept alive out of greed. Their family is finally told "it's time" when money and benefits run out. What is best for the patient is ignored as long as $$$ is available to pay for their keep.

Medicaid and Medicare do this. This is why I believe we need to come to a point with our laws that say enough is enough. Let. People. Rest. Death is not always a bad thing. It WILL come to ALL of us at some point. There is pain in death for those of us who are left to carry out.

I'd rather deal with my own pain in loosing someone I love than to see them live trapped in a prison designed by medical devices, insurance, or government care.

It's what people do for those they love. We let them go.

Peace Out,

~*~*~Krystal~*~*~